Broken heart challenge

With a broken heart: We often look for things in the wrong places, we Love on all the wrong levels, we offer personal business to people we have no business offering it to, we change only to fit in, we let feelings get the best of us, we Hate when there’s nothing to hate, we judge without knowing, we tear down when we should really build up, we prey when obviously we need to pray … But with every broken heart, if you heal from the Inside out you can surely MEND IT…. #ChallengeYourself

Her BestFriend’s Girlfriend

Sitting in the den on a rainy day, Shayla was trying to figure out why Cassy kept being on her mind. She instantly smiled at the thought of her beautiful smile, her intriguing accent, & her gorgeous body! Oh my I wouldn’t mind having a taste, she said! Shayla starting masterbating to the thoughts she was having. Snap out of it Shayla, she yelled to herself. Cassy was a one of a kind girl. Shayla knew Cassy from school, but it wasn’t until Cassy dated her best friend, that she actually held a conversation. Shayla and her best friend, Jonathan, have been close since ninth grade. Furthermore, Jonathan met Cassy at a nightclub two years ago and they’ve been dating ever since. Shayla always told Cassy how pretty she looks. In a daze, Shayla heard a knock at the door and she rushed to see who it was. As normal, she looks out the window & it was Jonathan. What’s up Shay, I’m just dropping by to holla at ya. Where is Cassy, She asked. Cassy went out shopping. Shayla pours a glass of wine & says well I was about to go take a shower and lay down. Jonathan says okay, we all going to Jango’s tomorrow be ready at 10, we will pick you up. Shayla waves and chuckles Good night oh and have Cassy message me. Jonathan, replies ok.

Shayla jumps out her sleep as her alarm goes off, looks at the time and slaps her pillow. She had snoozed the button long enough and she had to get up right away! She was a bit upset because she had been dreaming about Cassy. Shayla was an executive Administrative Assistant at a very popular Law firm. She did not work on weekends, but she vowed to come in once a month for a few hours to go through files. As she’s looking through files, she’s asking herself why can’t I get Cassy off my mind. At that moment she got a message, looks to read and it says hey Shay, Jon told me you said message you. Hey Cassy, how are you, are you going out tonight? Cassy answered, yes and I hope you will join everyone. Yes, I will see you then, good bye they both said. Beep beep, the sound of Jonathan’s horn was loud. She yelled from the upstairs bedroom, I’ll be right there. Shayla was dark skinned, about 5′ 2″, short hair, and a banging body. She walked out the house and entered the vehicle. Cassy whispers, girl you look stunning. Blushing, Shayla whispers you look stunning yourself. Pull up at Jangos and Cassy gets out. She’s 4’9″, brown skinned, long hair, and booty for days. Jonathan rolls out with an all white fit. They all danced, drinked, and played some pool. Night went awesome, everyone was tired so they all decided to crash at Shay’s house.

Woke up, fixed breakfast, called some other friends, and everyone headed to the mall. While everyone scrolled through the mall, Shayla kept looking at Cassy’s Swagg… she just knew she had to have her. Some way, some how! Shayla started thinking: The truth will set you free, he is my best friend, so I will just tell him, she thought. After the mall, the gang went to Jonathan’s house to put some meat on the grill and have a couple of drinks. Well, Shay thought this would be a perfect time so tell Jon and see how he responds. Shay pulls him to the side and says: I really want to tell you something, but I know how important our friendship has been. Jonathan says, if you know that, then you know you can ask or tell me anything. Well, I kind of have a thing for Cassy, she swallowed deeply. She is gorgeous, her walk is sexy, her voice is breath taking, and when she’s by my… My juices start flowing. Shayla, he said through laughing. Jonathan why are you laughing, she asked. He replied, Because you actually thought that would make me upset and actually I find that sexy.  She asked, do you find me attractive? He said, Yes I do, always did and always will but we are bestfriends and that’s how I like it. As for you and Cassy, make a move on her, see if she’s down with that and if so, do you!

After about a month of trying to see if Shayla really wanted to chat with Cassy that way, she sends her a message. The message said: Hi cassy, just wanted you to know that you are so beautiful and I really want to take you to dinner, just the 2 of us. Cassy did not respond until about a week later. However, her response was Shay, Is this a joke? She asked, Is there something wrong with me feeling you? Cassy replied with a confused looking emoji and said well I am dating your best friend. She did not want Cassy to know she had already spoken to Jon about it, so she just say: You are right but I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. Cassy said, I’ve never been with another woman in my life, and if I want to do something like this I need ask Jonathan about it. ok, Shayla answered.

A few weeks have gon by and not another text was received from Cassy. This particular Friday night, the gang will be traveling & hanging out at a NBA game in Atlanta, four cars with 12 people total. Shay did not have a date so she bookd her own room. The gang checked into the rooms to shower and chill before it was time to go to the game. Shayla heard a knock at the door and to her surprise it was Cassy. Cassy was dressed in a tight fitting all white sundress. Because her sundress was see-through, you could also see that she had on a red 2 piece lingerie set. You could see her nipple rings through the dress. As Shayla looked her up and down, her heartrate started to rise, she could feel herself getting hot and bothered, and a flow of juices being released from her treasure box. As Cassy comes close to her, she backs up and asks Are you really ready to do this? Without any words, They start kissing and taking off their clothes. Door wide open, they both moaned for each other. Cassy lays across the bed and spreads her legs wide inviting Shay in. As Shay dives in Cassy instantly yells out with pleasure. Whole time Jonathan is at the door……….

#OctaviaLaShea

Invisible Crown

crown Imagine life as a Queen. Your CROWN fitted specifically for you. Your clothes made to fit you & only you. Imagine the luxury cars and the fancy home you’ve always wanted. Think of all the diamonds you could have. Being a true boss lady and making Executive decisions. Imagine ruling a KINGDOM. Just imagine waking up every day next to you King. Having all the Royalties and everything good that comes along with it. No worries, at all! This is too good to be true, am I really the Queen of this Castle living under all this Royalty. Truly, I am in a Dream! Everything is so perfectly imperfect for, for us. I am Happy and nothing else matters!

Only to realize, you were daydreaming. You are truly this woman who works daily, have beautiful children, and a loving husband. You have a stable job that you adore, but would like a higher paying job. You have day-to-day worries. Want to make sure the kids are set straight, want to please your hubby, don’t have much in the savings account, your wardrobe needs to be undated, want a complete home makeover, you would like to have another car, and the list goes on. So then Reality set in that you aren’t the Queen you imagined. Everything isn’t so perfect, but it works for your situation. You don’t have that fancy house and luxury vehicle. The ability to make Queen like Executive decisions for a Kingdom wasn’t real. The diamonds on your finger have minimized. Everything was really just an imagination.

As you sit to the table, you turn reality into inspiration. Your life is pretty awesome. You and family are in good health. You children are well-mannered and behaved. You have a descent place to call home. Your clothes and shoes are style that you picked out and are fashionable to your liking. You give Glory to God that you are able to provide your family with food to eat. You realize that your may not have that high paying job, but you have a steady income. You realize some people have it worst than you!

Inspiration: At times things get rough, at times it seems like the enemy wants you to be down to nothing. Just remember, who you are and how far you’ve come. We all want the finer things in life, but we must work and be obedient and it shall come. You are a QUEEN, (Repeat) you are a QUEEN. You wear an invisible crown daily. Yes, it slips, yes, it tilts but you always adjust it to whatever situation that comes your way. We all start off as a Diamond in the Rough, however we build ourselves up to shine…bright like a Diamond. We are only who we believe we are so always Wear your Invisible Crown!

-OctaviaLaShea

 

 

 

 

 

Encouragement when losing a mother

All I can say to someone who’s LOST a MOTHER is…. you will ALWAYS have an EMPTY feeling, you will always WONDER why, you will always MISS the little things, you will always MOURN, you will never FORGET, you will never get OVER IT, you will never feel COMPLETE, you will never SEE her in the FLESH… BUT you MUST PRAY for continued strength, ask GOD to not let you FEEL angry, always HOLD on to memories, SMILE through the pain, understand that you MUST go on, remember what she’s TAUGHT you, and live life day by day… surely you’ll learn how to DEAL WITH IT AND GET THROUGH it day by day! Just KNOW we all grieve DIFFERENTLY & no one can tell you how to feel… just be careful how you express your pain!! I’ve been there, felt the pain, and I’m dealing with it!! It is NOT easy, but I’m making it…. I miss my mama so much, RIH Audrey Jenkins

-Tav

I’m here if anybody need to talk!!

Part II: When the past Haunts

Part II: When the Past Haunts

By OctaviaLaShea

Marcus, What are you talking about? As he gets closer to the door I’m starting to to feel nauseous. What am I going to do and what am I going to say? Jennifer get yourself together, I whispered to myself. I get up, straighten myself up and walk closer to the door. I opened the door and Marcus was standing there looking me in my eyes. Jennifer he yells, I jumped back against the door. Marcus what is wrong baby. Marcus whispers how could you do this to me? Everything I do, I’ve done it for us. Baby please explain to me what you’re talking about. Jennifer you’ve been seeing my friend Frank. I instantly dropped to my knees. Marcus I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry! The attention I wanted from you I got it from him, I swear I had no remembrance that he was your friend. Marcus pushed me hard against the door. He chokes her with one hand. Marcus stop baby you’re hurting me, please. Marcus got down on his knees, pulled my skirt up and started licking my juice box. As shocked as I was, It felt so good to get the much needed attention from him, my body shook as my juices flowed down. I felt myself climaxing. Straight to bed we went. No talking

Next morning, I awake and Marcus is in the Lazy Boy chair reading his daily newspaper. Good Morning Jennifer, or should I call you Angela. Baby I’m so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen. Please just, Jennifer be quiet. I understand that I have not shown you the attention that you deserved. Managing the businesses just got more of my attention. I just never realized that you were really lacking that from me. We all make mistakes & I’m not going to lie, this hurt me deep Jennifer. You were really having sex with my homie. Baby I know, please forgive me I never meant to hurt you ever. I love you Marcus and I only want you. I promise to be for you and you only. Jennifer you can’t run out every time you feel the lack of attention baby girl. I know baby, just please let me stay.

Ok so Marcus decided to let me stay.

As time passed, everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Marcus tried to spend a little more time with me. We had date nights and occasionally I would go to the businesses after work. Things seemed almost perfect again. Marcus had stopped talking to Frank, although he felt betrayed by both of us, he just felt it wasn’t good to have him around. Me on the other hand, kept him around because I wanted the Money. After all, it’s his fault and he must pay for it. So now, I find it odd that Marcus has more free time and that he hangs out at his club more than any other place. I asked him about it and he says that’s where he’s needed the most.

On one Busy Saturday night a gorgeous

dark-skinned woman with a body of a goddess walked into the night club. She instantly caught Marcus’s attention. He was almost at lost for words. His eyes followed her until she stopped. For some reason he just had to go over there and introduce himself. At that very moment he forgot all about Jennifer. Hello I am Marcus the owner. Hi Marcus I am Sasha & it’s a pleasure to meet you. They engaged in conversation and after awhile she gave him her number to call. The club closed & Marcus went home. All kinds of thoughts ran across his mind. Although Marcus forgave Jennifer, he never fully gotten over the hurt that she caused. Marcus and Sasha started casually dating. Sasha made him feel extra special. Marcus came over before heading to the club. She opened the door dressed in nothing but red lingerie and black heels. As he walked in the room there was Hennessy and two glasses on the nightstand. Sasha pushed him on the bed and started undressing him. She mumbled for him to get a drink. Sasha grabbed his pipe and licked all around it. Marcus’s phone rang and it was Jennifer. Everything was so good, he just couldn’t answer. He put Sasha on the bed and stroked her down with all that he had. Her juices were drowning the sheets. As she gripped the covers, she enjoyed every thrust he laid upon her. Session was over and Marcus had to leave.

Frank, please call me I need that by tomorrow, this is Angela. Yes, I kept the code name.

Before Sasha met Marcus, she had been going through Some things. At this point in time, she knew she needed to get a lawyer. On Monday, she searched through the phone book and came across Smith & Smith Law Firm for divorces. Later that day, she walked into the office and was greeted by the Legal Assistant. The legal assistant was me, Jennifer

Stay tuned for Part III

When the past haunts..

Sitting outside my bedroom because I’m scared to face what I did! Yes I’ve done wrong, yes he’s done wrong… but this time I REALLY MESSED UP! I had a PAST that no one around here knew! I moved away from my home town in 2008 for a fresh start. See, I’m not your average wifey material. I’ve been through things & done things I’m not quite proud of, but it truly made me who I am today!!! Hoping I never relapse!

In August 2009 on a Fun Friday night, I met this guy at an Atlanta nightclub. Y’all he was: dark skinned, dreads, bling, & handsome with an all black Mercedes Benz. He approached me, Told me his name was Marcus, asked me for my name and to buy my a drink. Hello, my name is Jennifer and sure I would like a Long Island Iced tea on the rocks! We engaged in some conversation and even danced a little. As the night ended we exchanged numbers and went our own ways! About 2 weeks later, I finally decided to give him a call. Oh was a grinning hard over the phone and from there everything was history! Guess what, he owned that nightclub where we met!

See, Marcus had my full undivided attention, we started hanging out and getting to know each other! But what I didn’t do, was tell him about my PAST and who I really used to be. He liked the Jennifer I am today and I wanted to keep it that way! Dates started happening and we started falling for each other. Damn, this starting the get too good! After all, I do deserve someone! Marcus, was a very busy man! He owned 1 nightclub, 1 barbershop and 1 carwash. I was only an Executive Assistant at a Law Firm.

Years have passed by, and we fell for each other. We finally fell in loved. My my my was this an oh so wonderful feeling! I’ve finally gotten the companionship I wanted, I finally found someone to fill this empty void. The sex was long, deep, and passionate with each stroke! Can’t forget Spontaneous! The kisses were absolutely amazing especially when it was between my thighs. We moved in together & Things were almost perfect. But who has a PERFECT relationship? No one!!

As we became comfortable with each other, things began to shift. The love was still there but the time and attention I once had was decreasing! Yes, he was a busy man but when you start something you become accustomed to it and want it all the time. I didn’t realize I had become selfish & he didn’t realize he had become too busy! He was about his businesses and money! We’ve had conversations about it but we both knew the business played a big role so we had to make due with what we could until there was more free time for the both of us! I had a 9-5, so I pretty much had all the freedom I needed in the evenings. Meanwhile, Marcus had to mange the 3 owned businesses. So because The time & wanted attention was decreasing, the old Jennifer wanted to come out and play! The girl I called Angela.

In my past, I was a ‘Call Girl’ … although the money looked great, what I personally enjoyed was the attention the men gave as I performed the services they wanted! No, I didn’t normally do random guys! It was normally men I knew or men I trusted! Yes, I know it sounds crazy, but I loved it. So those thoughts started crowding my mind, the old images, the old attention.. everything was jumping out at me. I started a plan, I began brainstorming and before you knew it….. I was back in business.

So to fast forward, things were going good! Marcus was doing his thing, I was doing my thing but Home was still being managed. Although, I was lacking attention from who I wanted, Angela made up for it all! I then, became greedy and one guy I chose, little did I know IT WAS ABOUT TO MESS UP MY HOME! This one guy I started dealing with was the ULTIMATE male! I mean when Im alone with him HE SHOWERED me with whatever as long as I was performing those services he wanted! Well he wasn’t quiet about the woman he’s been messing with(Angela)… He went to his friend who he always confided in. That friend was my very own man, Marcus. Marcus was being told everything about Angela. How beautiful she was, how attentive she was, and how great her sex was. When I was alone with Marcus friend, Frank, I had so much trust in him… I let him bend some of the rules. After all, No one would find out right. But what I didn’t know is that he’s been secretly RECORDING US when we were together. Marcus had asked him to see a picture of this spectacular woman Angela, he’s always bragging on. Even though he knew he shouldn’t he did anyways, he showed a video of him and Angela. Although I always wear a pretty mask over my eyes, Marcus knew my body frame. He instantly knew it was me. He told him no no no that ain’t Angela, that’s my girlfriend Jennifer. Remember I introduced you all a few years ago. I can’t believe this. But before Frank could say something, Marcus said I have to go, bye…

Marcus, pacing back in forth in the bedroom…. mind racing: how could the woman he loved so dearly do this, let alone it be the guy he’s most cool with! All the codes were broken… how could he forgive her for this. I mean he knew he’s been busy, stopped giving her the valued attention & times she deserved. But it was for the best, the businesses were what paid all their bills. He calls Jennifer, Jennifer you need to come home ASAP. She asks why is there something wrong baby. Yes, get here quickly. And the phone hangs up…

On her way home she got a call from Frank. Frank said Angela, how could you let this happen??? She said what are you talking about. He screamed: me, you, MARCUS!!! and your name isn’t Angela it’s really JENNIFER. Jennifer said wait, what? You know Marcus. He said yes we are really good friends. And yes I told him about this wonder lady I was dealing with. I know you going to be mad, because I broke some codes, I had a video of you and I showed him in which he IDENTIFIED YOU AS YOU. He said he introduced us a few years ago. It’s all coming back to me Frank, yes he did at the Super Bowl party! Then Jennifer started screaming and you showed him what???? A video. That’s why he’s calling me to come home now. Bye I have to figure some things out. Don’t you ever call me again!

So I finally get home: I walk to the front door. My heart is pounding. I finally get in the house and walk up the stairs to the bedroom. I whispered Marcus where are you? He said I’m in the Room ANGELA .. her eyes stretched and I instantly melt to the floor….outside the bedroom door, I just couldn’t face what was going to happen….. Marcus whispered Angela I know everything,

Stay tuned for the book!

She found….

Hiding in the closet, she found..HERSELF! Sometimes, she needed a place where she could go and be Alone. No judgement and No advice just her! This closet was her everything, almost like a Secret Heaven. Her closet was filled with clothes and shoes. This closet was just the perfect fit for her to shield herself from everyone. She cried in sorrow, she cried in joy, she wrote, she danced, but most of all she PRAYED. She felt like the weight of the world was always on her shoulder, she did not know what to do. Friends, weren’t the friends she thought. Family, turned their backs in her time of need. She could not weigh her children down with the adult problems she faced. She literally felt ALONE. Her closet was always that secret place to go.

Growing up, she had everything she ever needed. Mom and Dad displayed Love and compassion. she had clothes, shoes, and food to eat. Also, Without hesitation, they made sure that she gets whatever she wanted as long as her grades were to perfection. They taught her how to love, how to be loved, how to work for what she needed, friendships and that the world didn’t owe her anything. Elementary School passed, Middle School passed, and now she advanced to High School. Elementary School was a breeze, Middle School was no problem, but High School became a challenge for her. She was older and there were a lot of different personalities to deal with. From friends to family to boys….. As the school years went by friends came and went. Family, stood by her side …  Hooray, She met this guy in her grade that she became interested in….My my my was he handsome and apart of the Football team. Could not have asked for a better combination, right…right! She could see herself dating a guy like that. And, she did!!! Now, they both enter the real world as a couple. Seems like everything was so perfect!!

My question is: Do you fully KNOW someone?

Moved in together, got married and had 2 children and shared great Sex. You can just say were living the life until one day he talked down to her for no reason. But not just once, but over and over and over…The constant yelling and the negative comments….Oh my, was he disrespectful! Not so much the Prince Charming she thought she knew! What happened? They had a nice home, beautiful children, nice jobs…. but what they were lacking was the Love and compassion that she was TAUGHT to have.

See material things are sometimes put in front of the Love that they were supposed to share. So she tried to turn to her Mom and Dad for help, but the advice they gave, she did not want to hear it…she turned to her friends, but all of them created judgment towards her…Who could she turn to? HER CLOSET, became her best friend. She felt so alone like no one cared about what she was experiencing! So, When no one was around, she went there…Her Secret Place….When she got up in the morning, she went in there. Whenever she felt down, she found her secret place. And then and only then through crying, laughter, writing, dancing, and prayer SHE FOUND HERSELF again. And at that moment she was able to face and conquer the world! She finally got herself  and her self-esteem to a point where she could approach her husband! Over time, Things got better. Needless to say, Life went on and because of the praying she’s done, things are back to normal!

 

So see: sometimes we all need to find that hiding place. We can easily get LOST in our lives or even in this sometimes cruel world. We must know WHO we are and remember what we were TAUGHT. Understand that life will throw a lot of lemons at you, but you must face everything and move right along. Verbal abuse is so common and we take that lightly. No one should ever be called out of their name or belittled!

Happy Anniversary to us!

On yesterday, Saturday, August 18th…. I celebrated my 11th Wedding Anniversary!! Lord, I give you thanks first because without you being #1 in our lives, we would have been FAILED! Y’all this is such a wonderful Milestone for us! We are a YOUNG couple who made a vow to always Love each other forever! Though there are tears, there are more laughs! Though there’s plenty of downs, it never outweigh the ups! Yes, marriage can sometimes be a challenge, but we go through those challenges to LEARN each other and to be able to work things out! Those downs make you appreciate the ups!

Y’all, Never GIVE up on something or someone you Love! Love is not easy, it’s hard work! Keep pushing, keep praying, and keep smiling! Those mountains can always be moved!

Happy Anniversary to us ❤️😍😍❤️ God please grant us with many many more!

Forgive me? Yes! Well keep it that way!

We often say we FORGIVE, but we keep bringing up what we was supposed to forgive!

In any situation, relationship, marriage, or just in general…..We are put through challenges. Depending on who YOU are and what YOU believe, you either forgive or don’t forgive! Today, I want to focus on those who do forgive. If you find it in your heart to Forgive a person for whatever they have done wrong to you, that is a wonderful step into getting over it.

However, if you’ve chosen to forgive, you should not bring whatever it is up in their face. No matter what, that is over and done with. We often bring up an old situation, when we get mad again or if that specific person does something else. No, nothing goes away. By bringing up something old(that was supposed to be forgiven), is really a sign that you NEVER forgiven them and that you have not gotten over it. So basically, it is still causing you more harm and stress for yourself and the other individual. Making you MISERABLE.

No, you will Never Forget but you work daily at trying to let it become just a memory instead of a daily nightmare. It will cause so much chaos and turmoil just keeping that alive. sometimes, you just have to bury things and leave it there. We’ve all made someone mad, we’ve all done someone wrong, we’ve all made a mistake that we just CAN’T fix… We’ve all forgiven, we’ve all been forgiven by someone else… We take our Losses and our Angers, deal with them, and MOVE ON! And at that moment you know how to DEAL with that person and to handle them from that point! EITHER, you stay and let it go, or you cut ties and move on. Sometime you just have to remove yourself from others or the situation!

Personally, I do NOT like bringing up and reliving old things. It does nothing to me but get me angry again and feeling hateful for something/someone I was supposed to forgive. Furthermore, I don’t want someone I’ve hurt or made mad, to forgive me and then later down the road throw it back in my face.

We just have to learn to deal with SITUATIONS better!

Quick Thought!!

Sometimes, we realize a change is needed! Rather it is needed in our relationships, our families, our personal lives, our jobs, or our community… we must start the change within ourselves! Never depend on the next person to be the change!!!