Long Distant Relationship

Is being in a long distance relationship an advantage, disadvantage, or both?

Dating is seeing a person or persons without being committed! A relationship is being with a person or persons while being committed to that person or persons!

So let’s say you’ve DATED and now you’ve chosen to take it a step further and enter into a relationship. Ok not bad… but it’s actually a long distance relationship. While this May work for some it definitely doesn’t work for all. There’s so many things you miss out on even though you are involved with someone who’s long distance. This includes: physical attention, time, sex ,dates, etc. It’s hard to get to know someone totally long distance.

Physical attention is much needed: just to be in the presence of your lover is important and also amazing. You get to truly feel their vibes and get a sense of how that person really is. Everybody wants time with their significant other. Going places together: having date nights, walking on the beach, or just laying in the bed laughing at jokes. Although, every relationship does not reach the sex point, most do… and that is something everyone aims to experience in their relationships. Just being able to have your lover around you when you need them makes you feel comfortable.

Long distance relationships will have your mind all over the place, wondering what that person is doing when they are away from you. Especially, when you can not comfort them or be there for them through things they are going through. Not having a strong foundation can sometimes create infidelities’. Not having a strong bond can create trust issues. You must be attentive to needs in a long distance relationship!

However, it can also be a beautiful thing. Why? Long distance, give you time to miss one another. It gives you a chance to diffuse a situation before seeing each other. If you are not a person who like to be clingy or have someone right underneath you, this could be an ideal thing for you. This may also be good for someone who does not mind spending nights alone.

Sometimes, agreements are made as in what they allow and do not allow in a long distance relationship! Some may agree to see other people, but when they get together the others are shut out. Some may be in a Polyamory relationship and they may have something about being open in their boundaries. You just never know what someone has going on in their relationship.

So as for me and my personal experience: I have been married for 14 years to my King and I’ve been seeing a Queen for the past 6 Months. Yes, we all know about each other because we date each other! this has been a wonderful yet crazy 6 months! So what that have to do with Long distance?! Well, she lives 9hrs and 44mins away from me!!! Y’all each time she comes home and leaves: it is oh so bittersweet! We can have a disagreement, fuss, whatever but when it is time for my baby to leave.. Although, I may not show it I be so crushed on the inside! I just feel like I need her closer to me. I need her to be in arms length when I want to be touched or when I want to hold her. We bump heads often because neither one of us likes to back down lol….. although, the long distance gives us space and time to miss each other… I want that touch from my Queen more often! I will never in my life ever date long distance again EVER! While this works for some, This aint for me! So for my opinion and my story it is a disadvantage for me, but I am making it!

My Pride

Pride is something you should take seriously! I will NOT apologize if my sexuality offends you!

We have choices in life and our choices should be made solely on what we want and need. Our choices shouldn’t depend on others. We shouldn’t need any validation on what others think of us or how others will feel when they find out who we are. Validation is only JUDGEMENT. Judgement is made normally by people who think they are better than then next person. Hiding is a form of being ashamed of who you are. If who you are bothers people connected to you then they have a person issue. A person is issue is not a problem until they start treating you differently. You have to remember people are living their lives the way they want to live it, so why can’t you live your life the way you want to live it. Who said that what people do is the normal? I want to know why, what someone does dictate why you can’t still love them and be happy for them.

So I am Bisexual, and I have been for many years. My story is that I knew when I was a child, I liked females as well as males. Each summer, I sneaked and kiss this girl when I would go visit family out of town. At that age, I just thought it was a stage I was going through, just for fun maybe. Growing up and when I was back home, I never acted on it at all. I sure as heck couldn’t let anyone find out that is what I was doing.

So as I got older, I stopped going on the trips to visit so I never acted on that again until I got grown. I was grown and married before acting out on those urges again. It was fun and satisfying all at the same time. Although, I still kept it a secret, I was still enjoying what I was doing. It made me feel good to do, exactly what I’ve been wanting to do all my life. As the years past, I starting wanting to come out of hiding, but I was afraid of what everyone would think. I was afraid of what they would start whispering about me. I was afraid of what my family would say. I was afraid of how me saved co-workers would look at me. I was afraid of what my parents would say. So, I continued to keep it a secret.

After my mom passed, I became somewhat heartless, somewhere rude, and when I felt the need I just shutdown when I want to shut the world out. But through that, It made me want to be open when me. It made me want to be free and be true to myself. A lot of my friends already knew, My husband knew, a few people here and there knew, and I think my sister had an idea. However, this is a secret I was just tired of hiding… So I just slowly start reveling it to people. How? I would engage in conversations I would normally ignore. I would laugh at things, rather than frown up at it. For close people, I just told them. As time move on, I had really close friends/family to tell me to stop caring about what others say and just be free.

These moments in time, I am Free! the world knows who I am and the world now understands I do not care who accepts me or not. If what I do and want offends the next person, it is best for them to remove themselves from my Lovestyle because I will not bend my love and feelings to please the next person. You are welcome to love who and how you want, and so do I. My HUSBAND is my #1 fan through all things, he keeps my in a positive spotlight at all times about my self esteem and my truths!

PRIDE to me means BEING Me to the world, being free and true to myself!

I HOPE my story inspires the next person to be free and be who they want to be!

Ho Ho Santa

Off from work, washed, & sitting naked in the house with my Best friend Kenya. Looking at Porn, things got heated quickly. Kenya was in the middle of licking my clit while the door bell rang. As close as she was to satisfying me, her mind led her to get up and answer the door. Instead, I throw on my robe while my legs dripped with sweet juices! Helloooooo, I whispered while opening the door. Kenya yells out, Shay who’s at the door. And to my surprise it was secret Santa and 1 of his lady Elves. Kenya comes out in her see through all black lingerie to see who it was. We quickly let them in and offered drinks. We all watched tv, laughed and had some drinks. As the night went on we all were getting wasted. Santa elf went over and sat by Kenya and started rubbing on her juicy thighs. She turns and look at me, I smiled with excitement and nod my head. I noticed Santa went and sat on another chair away from us. The Elf was so attractive, I licked my lips at the thought of her and Kenya together. I closed my eyes and started playing with myself imagining I’m with them. A whisper from the other side of the room said join her. As I opened my eyes they both were by me, Kenya on her knees and the sexy elf behind the chair. I opened my legs wide and invited Kenya in while looking up at the Elf inviting her to suck my hardened nipples. Things were getting too good so I switched positions before I reached my climax. I led everyone to the bedroom, pushed Santa in the lazy boy so he could watch. I moved my tongue up and down Kenya’s body until I reached her clit. I sucked it perfectly moving my finger in and out pussy. Her rhythm matched mine so perfectly. Moans came from the chair, Santa had his Elf bent over pounding her from behind. Kenya and I went over to join them, and then it became a four way sex street. He took his time giving us each equal amount of hard sex. Night came to an end, Santa and his Elf left us asleep. It was good having a Best friend to do everything with.

I was awaken by the bright sun shining through the window. I woke up happy and energized. It was time for me to start my day of shopping. The aroma of breakfast cooking was in the air. Kenya was already dressed and waiting for me in the kitchen. I ate breakfast and then we were off to shopping. After an eventful day of shopping it was time to eat and rest up to hit the strip club. As the night draws near I started heading upstairs to get myself ready. Kenya was in the shower so I open the curtain hopped in and and started kissing her sweet lips. As she rubbed over my body I slid my finger down her body until I reached her clit. We both started playing with each other until we both exploded in the shower. Washed up and dressed, we headed to the strip club. This strip club was the baddest club in Charlotte. Upon arrival we were directed to a private VIP room. We were met with lots of drinks and lots of people. Kenya goes to the middle of the floor to dance and look at the strippers. I wanted to hang back and watch the scene. A whisper in my right ear said: you ready for this dick tonight. As I smiled and looked over, it was Santa. Looking onto the floor somebody was keeping Kenya occupied. I took his hand and we went to a private room.

The other lady

I came home from work today and the vibe seemed a little off. I went to take a shower so I could prepare dinner. I got to the kitchen, prepped the food and poured me a tall glass of wine. As I waited for dinner to finish, I made a few calls and started some paper work for my job. At about seven o’clock, dinner was finished and the aroma smelled amazing. I decided to keep it all in the oven until my husband arrived. But here it is ten o’clock and Andre is still not home and in an instant I knew something was not right. I reached for my phone to give him a call. The phone just rang and rang, there was no answer. I tried calling back and still there was no answer. In the past, if he was going to be home late, he would call or send a text to say do not stay up. So as I paced the room back and forth, I was wondering if I should go look for him or call the police. Thoughts of him going missing was running through my mind. Maybe I should alert his family about what is going on or maybe they know where he is. As I try to calm myself to get some clear thoughts, I finally got a text. The text shockingly said hey baby girl, do not stay up I will not be coming home tonight. Now, it is twelve in the morning and he is not coming home. How the hell am I supposed to sleep not knowing what he is doing or who he is with. Furthermore, I was tossing and turning so I tried to call him. After every call, I left a detailed voicemail, but he never called me back. As time moved on and stress began to build, it was now time for me to report to work. While heading to work my phone rang, it was Andre. Hello, I answered with such sadness and confusion in my voice. Andre replied, we need to talk tonight over dinner, have a great day at work. I said ok, quickly hung up the phone, and went into work. As my work day ended, a message came through to meet him at Longhorn around 7:30. I went home, showered and got dressed. The waiter greeted me with some Pink tulips and a box of Vera Wang perfume, my favorites. Mrs. Taylor, right this way. As I approach the table, my smile turned into a frown. Andre was sitting there with another woman. A woman I have never seen before, a woman who was gorgeous with stunning clothes. who could this woman be and what is she doing at the table with my husband, that was the thought that ran through my mind. Andre stood up, greeted me with a kiss and helped me to my seat. Good evening Sandra, this is Kelly. Kelly this is my beautiful wife Sandra. Kelly gave a brief hi before she shyly looked away. I stared at her speaking through my teeth, hello Kelly nice to meet you but what is she here for. He asked for me to calm down and goes on to express his Love for me, expresses how much I mean to him and that he did not want to live without me. While he was expressing himself to me, Kelly starts looking upset and hurt. I shouted across the table for Andre to stop and I demanded he tell me what the hell was going on. Kelly hysterically runs toward the bathroom, so he gets up to follow her. Overly upset and confused, I needed to leave. I gathered my shit and ran off, but what I saw as I ran off was Kelly crying and Andre consoling her. I just stood there flabbergasted …….

What the fuck is going on?

3some and me

Dear Tey,
My husband of 8 years wants to experience a 3some with me and another woman. I’ve always been down to pleasing my husband with almost anything he wants. I must admit this scares me. I will compliment a woman but I have no interest in woman. Thoughts cross my mind like am I not enough for him or do I bore him in the bedroom or do he just want to spice things up for us. I hate to just shut him down on the idea but I am not totally with it. Advice please

Dear reader,
From my point of view, there is definitely nothing wrong with the fact that he wants to experience that. Most single and some married men would want to or have already experience that. However, the fact that you do not have interest in women is the reason you are hesitant about it and that’s totally normal. And your thought process is also normal but you should voice those concerns with him. 3somes are a big deal and sometimes a relationship changer. They can be fun but can also cost you your partner in the long run if there’s no trust, honesty, & communication. So that is something you have to be absolutely sure and comfortable with before agreeing. Furthermore, if that is something you absolutely do not want to do, your husband should be understanding of your decision. But whatever decision you both make be very clear on what you each want and don’t want upfront!

Best Regards,

In law rage

Dear Tey,
I am married: my relationship with my husband is great, but we have one problem . His mother treats me differently from the other daughter in laws and I still don’t know why:It affects my marriage only when there’s a family event or time to go visit her. I try my best to make the best of the situation for the sake of my husband and kids. However, I am about ready to tell her off and say exactly how I feel. How should I handle this situation?

-Unfortunately, there is no right or wrong way to handle this situation. The happiness in your marriage is more important than your mother in law’s acceptance of you. And if you both are Happy and this is not affecting you all, then maybe you shouldn’t worry about it. However if it is bothering you this deeply, maybe you need to speak on the situation one on one with her, especially if you feel disrespected. Sometimes it really isn’t a problem but if you don’t address it, you can’t fix it. We all want to truly have a loving and caring relationship with our in laws but it doesn’t always play out that way. Once you’ve spoken to her & got your answers you base your conclusions solely on how you feel. Hope this helps

Best Regards,


…. We are needed so much today in so many ways! As a Guardian, As a Child, As a Sibling, As a Family member, As a Friend, & definitely as a Mentor! (((We must hold ourselves ACCOUNTABLE for our ACTIONS & REACTIONS)))We must also TEACH our offsprings that whatever DECISIONS & actions they make, they must TAKE full accountability! We must Stress to others the importance of ACTIONS, we must stress to others that what they do DON’T just Affect them but also their LOVED ONES! We must SHOW as must positively IN FRONT of people as we can, because you never know WHO’S watching you! There may be a child watching you, there may be someone who needs hope, there may be someone who’s following your footsteps…. and it would do NO HARM to see your positivity! Because with everything we Do, everything we say… WE HAVE AN OPTION TO OR NOT TO do or say those things!

Losing a parent(s)

There’s just something about losing a PARENT(s)… it’s like your Breath is GONE! It’s something about losing a parent, you all of a sudden feel ALONE! It’s something about losing a parent, no more LECTURES! It’s something about losing a parent, no one to PROTECT us! It’s something about losing a parent, some of your days be WEARY! It’s something about losing a parent, you also feel DREARY! It’s something about losing a parent, you have a void in your HEART! It’s something about losing a parent, you miss them from the START! It’s something about losing a parent, your days seem so LONG! It’s something about losing a parent, you start feeling everything went WRONG! Its something about losing a parent, you sometimes feel WEAK! It’s something about losing a parent, you also lose SLEEP! It’s something about losing a parent, all want to do is CRY! It’s something about losing a parent, no one will ever understand WHY! There’s just something about losing a parent(s) ……


*I Miss my mama more than this world can ever imagine, life has been hard without her… I don’t complain, I don’t allow myself to cry, and I don’t get down too often! She built strength in me that I’m taking with me everyday, but not being able to see my Queen’s face is unbearable at times! Seems like my mama got lost on a trip and NO ONE can find her…but I know what reality is…YOU DO NOT VALUE SOMEONE OR SOMETHING 💯 % until it has left or that person isn’t here!!! Everyone says that she’s still with you, yes but it’s not the same! Everyone says just think of the memories, but I can’t make anymore! My mama was my SUPPORT SYSTEM…😞! I’ll be ok, I’m HER and she was ME!!!! Love you Audrey Jenkins, and I miss you!

Little Black Boy

New Year, New Things!!!
Tony had been working at his new job in Charleston, West Virginia for about 6 months. It was now December 2016 and he’s been away from his family too long. Tony missed being with them. He and his wife planned for the family to move with him in the new year. Diana is a stay at home mother of 3 children and is married to her first love.

January 2017
Waking up in the morning for their 1st day of their new schools. All the children had their clothes laid out, shoes by the door, and book bags full of notebooks. They were starting in the middle of the school year. Derien stretched & said this is about to be the best school year ever. Kendall walked into the living room after showering and getting dress, hey mom she whispered. I am excited to go to school but I am also nervous that I will not find friends. Kendall just wanted to fit in. Wendy rushed to get ready so she could eat breakfast, she did not have a care in the world. Tony rushed downstairs to greet everyone before he left for work. Everyone enjoyed breakfast and Diana dropped the kids off to school. After a long day of work Tony comes home to his wife cleaning and preparing dinner. The children where home doing their homework 📚 and talking about their new schools. Different school, different grades: 6th, 7th, & 10th

A few months has past and the kids seems to be enjoying their new schools. Wendy had started singing lessons, Kendall joined the Cheerleading squad, and Derien was a star player on the Basketball team. The grades were up to par and everyone was happy. Derien met a girl in school. She was white and very pretty. He came home from school one day and told his mom and dad. Tony agreed that it was okay but that he would have to be respectful. They could hang out, but there was an early curfew. They could talk on the phones but not too late on school nights. Her name was Ann Marie. Ann Marie and her parents have been in Charleston, West Virginia since Ann Marie was born.

Ann Marie told her parents that she has a boyfriend. She was the only child, so she got away with a lot of things. She was also very spoiled. Her mom asked well who is this guy. She replied, Derien. He moved here at the beginning of the year. As time moved forward, Dana and Tony wanted to meet Ann Marie. Wendy and Kendall has met her and they really like her. So next Friday is game night, invite her to come watch you play and then we will get pizza afterwards. That night, her mom dropped her off to the game and pizza went great.

Ann Marie’s parents wanted to meet Derien. What Derien didn’t know was that Ann Marie’s parents wouldn’t approve of her dating outside her race. Her mother had absolutely no problems with it, but her father would disapprove of her dating a black man. So mom went along with her husband to keep things calm. Ann Marie talked to her mom one evening and told her her boyfriend was black. Her mom just stared at her. Then, she begged her mom not to tell her dad.

It was now summer break and Ann Marie still has not told her father that her boy friend was black. She wanted to go to the fair to hang out, so Derien asked his dad to take them somewhere. But Derien’s mother volunteered to take them all to the fair. She insisted that her and her husband meet Ann Marie’s parents. Saturday came and Ann Marie decided not to go again. A few weeks later, Derien asked Ann Marie why she never took him to see her parents and why she didn’t go to the fair. She pouted and said she rather not talk about it. He just let it slide and decided to wait until she’s ready to talk about it.

Wendy, Kendall, & Derien was hanging out at the recreation center when Ann Marie called. She wanted to hang out with Derien. Derien explains that he is at the Rec center. So she gets dropped off there & told Derien she needs to tell him something. They sat on the picnic table outside and she began explaining to Derien how her father doesn’t believe in her dating black guys. Derien grew extremely angry. She also went on to tell him how her mom knows and s not said anything. This was really starting to hurt Derien. He could not understand why his girlfriend’s father did not like blacks. He was frustrated that Ann Marie never told him.

Dana was very observant of her family and noticed how they seemed happy but Derien seemed a little disturbed. He would eat dinner as usual but wouldn’t have much to say like he normally does. Diana knew it was time to find out what was wrong with her son. She sent messages to the teacher, to see if they have noticed anything different. All his teachers did not see a difference in him, he acted normal in school as far as they could tell. So at dinner she went around the table and asked everyone how they were feeling and if they had something they needed to talk about. Kendall, Wendy, Dana, & Tony has spoken, but when it was Derien’s turn he grew angry and said yes mom but I need to talk to you and dad ALONE.

Once alone, He explained how Ann Marie told him that her mom approved of him but that she was scared to tell her dad because he don’t like blacks. He went on to say, he was upset because he could not believe that people still thought like that. Tony and Diana was in shocked, they couldn’t believe what they were hearing. They told him everyone has a right to their opinions, but that racism is wrong. They also told him that if he dad does not approve, he should stop talking to Ann Marie because they are still young and have their whole lives ahead of them. Racism will tear you apart and you don’t want to be a victim of any of it. His parents were furious about the situation and needed answers.

So the next morning, they all got up, got dressed and went over to Ann Marie’s house. No calls, No text. They knocked on the door and her dad answers……